Saturday, February 25, 2012

Big Trouble Little China Sunday

Jack Burton: When some wild-eyed, eight-foot-tall maniac grabs your neck, taps the back of your favorite head up against the barroom wall, and he looks you crooked in the eye and he asks you if ya paid your dues, you just stare that big sucker right back in the eye, and you remember what ol' Jack Burton always says at a time like that: "Have ya paid your dues, Jack?" "Yessir, the check is in the mail."

Jack Burton: Mutual Fidelity Insureres of Sacramento... well there's gotta be a listing honey, cause I pay 'um 6 g's a year in premiums. 
Uncle Chu: China is here Mr. Burton. The Chang Sing, The Wing Kong, they've been fighting for centuries. 
Jack Burton: What the hell does that mean? huh? China is here, I don't even know what the hell that means, all I know is this "Lo Pan" character comes out of thin air in the middle of a goddamn alley while his buddies are flying around on wires cutting everybody to shreds, and he just stands there waiting for me to drive my truck straight through him, with light coming out of his mouth! 
Wang Chi: Jack please... 
[lightning strikes and Wang becomes silent
Wang Chi: He didnt uncle Chu, not like he says. 
Jack Burton: [diverting from his phone call] Sure did uncle Chu, 2 hours ago, Tall guy Weird clothes, first you see him then you don't. 
[back to his call
Jack Burton: yeah, is this just a switch board or something... 
Uncle Chu: Lo Pan appeared on the street? Wang Chi why didn't you tell me? 
Wang Chi: We didn't want to alarm you uncle. 
Jack Burton: [on his phone call] I'm gonna tell you about an accident and I dont want to hear an act of god alright. 
[enter Eddie
Eddie: Good Afternoon Mr. Wong 
Wang Chi: Eddie, meet my dear friend Jack Burton. Jack, Eddie is the new maitre'd here at the Black Pool. 
Uncle Chu: And a whole lot more. 
Jack Burton: [on his phone call] I don't know my policy number, it's in the glove compartment, just look under B.U.R.T.O.N. alright. 
Uncle Chu: Jack Burton? 
[Jack turns to his name being called
Uncle Chu: Wow, the guy you always told me about huh? So that was your abandon truck. 
Jack Burton: Yeah, abandon like hell. 
[to the phone
Jack Burton: Hey! Hello! Hello! AAHHH Christ. 
Eddie: Bad news. The Lords of Death stole it after you ran away. 
Jack Burton: They stole my truck? 
Wang Chi: It's ok Jack, you're with friend, we'll find it for you. 
Jack Burton: You're Goddamn right your gonna help me find it, and my money, and time is money to a guy lik me... 
[points to uncle Chu
Jack Burton: ... and your phone is dead by the way. 

1 comment:

  1. One of my all-time favorite movies. Right up there with Buckaroo Banzai.


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