Sunday, March 11, 2012

The House Of Smoke & Water - A Planar Location For Your Old School

There is a place spoken of in whispers & legends across the planar cosmos. The House of Smoke & Water is a place of forbidden pleasures & carnal appetites for those adventurers who brave the winds between dimensions.

It is spoken in hushed tones because of its reputation but it is a place of commerce as well as prostitution. A converted way station between dimensional tube ways. The House has become legend across the rolling thunderous planar realities where waves unreality wash & turn. 
The House can appear where & when it needs to. It can appear as anything from a scuzzy door way to a palace of erotic pleasure depending on time & circumstances.
Rooms, workers, etc all move within like a giant Chinese puzzle box.
 The House caters to all tastes with holo-suites, dopplegangers, mimics & other eclectically tailored  means of satisfying its clients needs.

One does not merely find the House there are times when the place seems to seek its clients out itself.
It presents itself in a wide variety of shapes, guises, & lures for adventurers. Sometimes sporting gambling, music, a bar, or other civil entertainment. Yet always there is a veneer of the erotic simply boiling under the surface of the place.
Those who frequent the House swear its a safe point for them. Others have claimed the place is merely another entrance to some forgotten nether hell or other.

Those who do use the 'services' of the House agree that the workers are clean & safe for sexes of all sentient. The place offers other services for adventurers as well. An on staff exorcist, a variety of clerics, full hospital as well as 3 mages of 5 level & above.
Who controls The House of Smoke & Water? No one no knows. The madams have included the Devil's brides, vampric royalty, a falled chaos lord, & many, many others

Below the house proper are the mysterious Proto Tunnels. The clients speak to new comers of all sorts of foul things found or trapped down below. The tunnels are different each time they are accessed by a client!

Those who venture into this strange underground world may venture for days through winding tunnels, strange galleries, & weird rooms some used for 'special' clients & the like.

There are those who speculate that the tunnels serve as a type of dimension skeleton & certain rooms may be called into existence & dismissed at the pleasures of the powers who run the place.
 There are those who clients who have claimed to have encountered horrors without number within those strange forbidden areas of the House

Rumors of  The House 1d10 

  1. House is actually a front for powers of Hell itself to gauge the fitness of a plane's chances to survive a full scale invasion 
  2. The workers & clients aren't real at all merely a dimensional echo of a real place that once existed 
  3. The house is what it appears to be but some of the workers are succubus/incubuses 
  4. The House is a trap for those johns who were really nasty & this is their afterlife 
  5. The house is only a front for a hivemind god who experiences all of the pleasures it provides for its clients 
  6. The House has always been & will always be. Destroy it one day & the next day it comes back with the rising sun 
  7. Venus actually runs the place & she's turned evil because all of the love in the world is dying 
  8. The place isn't real at all & part of the sick warped imagination of some god on another plane 
  9. The House is actually a front for a group of scientists from a dead universe taking samples from all of the clients 
  10. The house is actually slowly absorbing any adventurers caught within its grasp. The catacombs are soul traps for the clients who experience the agony & ecstasy as the place slowly strips their souls & minds of all.
A client may reach the house only on the tri lateral conjunction when the planes align every 5 weeks. A ritual must be preformed with a special coin. Then a doorway to the House will appear!

The House Of Smoke & Water  Secrets 
The House itself is actually a Black Ziggurat location under the control of some divine power or technological genius.  It moves where & when it wants through out time & space. It has an agenda all of its own. Various undead, devils, & demons are used as works in the place most often of their own free will. The DM is free to create their own background as they see fit. My purpose for the House is simple - to separate the players from their gold!


  1. Intriquing. Is there also "fire in the sky?" ;)

  2. Thanks Trey! There is a House And it's been the ruin of many a poor boy
    And God I know I'm one!
    The fire is coming tomorrow man! Thanks for the comment & there's more to come! Stay tuned folks


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