Thursday, September 26, 2019

Peter's Passing & My Exchange With Carl

On facebook I turned my wall   into a dumpster fire & poured gasoline on it! First let me offer an apology to anyone who was wondering what the Hell happened. Why did this happen? There was an exchange with my ex friend & player Carl. My childhood friend & former player Peter has passed. Yesterday I finished a conversation  with one my players & best friends in a local grocery store. I turned a corner & was confronted by Carl. This is another ex player of mine whom I hadn't seen in three or four years now. I got the blame partially for Peter's death & the spiral of alcholism, drug use, etc. which ended in a messy divorce then finincial ruin. The exchange with Carl was brief & too the point. I was told that I was partially to blame for the death of my ex friend. There were words exchanged about my politics, my religion, & my support of  the Adventurer,Conqueror,King rpg. After a lot of thought I'm going to continue to support ACK's regardless.
Peter went down a rabbit hole of nightmare that I couldn't pull him out of. I had at the time my own personal issues that I was going through. There was a tough choice to make & I made it choosing to focus on my family & my family's business. Its a simple choice that I would make again.
 But because I'm visible in the table top rpg hobby as a blogger I became a target of Carl's grief. I understand & I get it. 

 We play these games to escape reality, to get together with friends, & to enjoy the act of play. I thank both Gary Gygax & Dave Arneson for the gift of these games.
But we're getting older these days & sometimes we don't get the help we need. Peter died by his own hand through suicide. My condolences, respects, & prayers  to his family during this difficult time. Mere words can't help the circumstances  that go along with the passing of friends & family. May God have mercy.
I'm very sorry & apologize to all of my friends & family that saw my outburst on Facebook. There are sometimes when it all gets to us. This is one of those posts that I never want to make. We're adults & we make choices. Those choices have consquences &.. There are often underlying issues of mental illness that actually need to be addressed.
If you feel that depression, & thoughts of suicide are getting to you please get help call  1-800-273-8255 The National Suicide Prevention Hotline. There are people standing by Twenty Four Hours a day. 

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