Wednesday, August 5, 2015

Outer Space Raiders: Zeloxians From Magic Pig Media For Your White Star Rpg Adventures & Your Old School Campaigns

The White Star rpg retroclone system community is one of the most dynamic communities on G+, Facebook, and within the OSR. Everyday another supplement, monster book, alien race book, etc. hits the airwaves. But then comes along  the Zeloxians. Described as a' small, fearless alien race that's out to conquer the galaxy as soon as they fill out the right paperwork and get their equipment to work.'they played for yucks but let me explain there is nothing funny about these aliens. They're possibly one of the most nightmarish bastards that you can run across. You see these guys are alien bureaucrats, possibly the equivalent of alien accountants, tax collectors, bean counters,pencil necked geeks, or any other nightmarish nebbish fool behind a desk that you've ever run across. And they've got energy weapons and their not afraid to use them. If these guys don't make your White Star or old school adventurers break out in a cold sweat then your not using these bastards right. I really don't think that the author even knows what he's created personally. He describes them as,"

The Zeloxians are a darkly humorous, tongue-in-cheek alien race for your space opera campaigns. Included are a racial class and the most common pieces of Zeloxian equipment such as the Doom Fighter, Radium Atomizer Magnum Blaster Obliteration Gun, Power Gauntlets, Trooper Armor and Powered Assault Armor."

This is a tightly put together four page pdf that sells for around one dollar and what do you get for your dollar investment? An entire race and array of tools that you can torture your adventurers for hours and hours with. They don't make that kinda fun anymore. See these guys are the bill collectors, phone sanitizers, tax collectors,etc. of the space ways and their waiting to suck the fun and treasure right out of your PC's hands. Its all here in black and white, signed sealed, and printed out in triplicate waiting in a nice tightly sealed official looking envelop in the standard Zeloxian Empire stationary. And these little bastards have the weaponry and fire power to enforce their will on your adventurers. Think that your Swords and Wizardry retroclone dungeons are safe? Think again, rumors that Zeloxians parties of bureaucrats & treasure enforcer units are even now are dimension hopping to take away your hard earned gold. After all hyper space bypasses, and empires across the stars don't run themselves.
Grab It Right Over

Everything about these guys reeks of smarmy pencil headed alien bureaucratic menace in spades, these little bastards will drown your PC's in red tape while blasting the Hell out of em with a spade of weapons that are scattered throughout the pdf. There are rumors of Zeloxian agents infiltrating across the stars and into governments,bars, gambling establishments,intergalactic brothels, and every black market operation they can get their four fingers into! All the better to report to their masters and tax your PC's to death. Everything you need to run these little alien horror shows is included in the pdf. Personally I think that this pdf is merely another piece of  Zeloxian empire propaganda. These alien penny pinchers  are rumored to split ten percent with local intergalactic governments any taxes they collect. And these bastards have been known to show up in dungeons, post apocalyptic ruins, and a wide variety of retroclone OD&D style systems. They have a tendency to spoil any fun that they can for adventurers. Even though this is a well written pdf, the fact is that there are some adventurers who have been know to shoot these guys on sight! The fact is that the  Zeloxians make a great mid level alien menace that  can be easily dropped into a wide variety of old school adventure settings and can cause adventurers all kinds of mayhem. DM's should pick this pdf up for the sheer horror that these alien bastards can wreck in an old school or retroclone system.
There are a wide variety of applications where the Zeloxians could be used. For a Basic Fantasy rpg campaign these little nasties could be used as tax collectors, enemies, conquerors, or used as part menace or comedy relief. For Hulks and Horrors these guys make a perfect foil for adventurers combing through the space hulks for treasure, artifacts, or more. For White Star or other OD&D retroclone style rpgs this race has lots of potential such as filling in a foil role, comedy relief or even gasp as a possible PC alien PC race.
My recommendation is to grab the PDF and customize the Zeloxians as you see fit for your old school campaigns. These little bastards are flexible enough to have a vary large variety of uses.

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