Magic Item - The Pipe of Saint Nicolas

The Pipe of Saint Nicolas 

This simple ivory pipe is done in an ancient style & over the years Saint Nicolas has had quite a few. They show up from time to time in treasure hoards or at intergalactic trading posts or pawn shops. These hand carved pipes are self lighting but the real magic comes from the random effects that these pipes have!

The pipe must be packed with a smokable substance & it instantly alights within a round!

Then the random magical effect will take place

The Pipe of Saint Nicolas Random 1d30 Table 

1. The user becomes hazy & indistinct gaining 1d10 points. They say,"Ho,ho, ho" uncontrollably 
2. The character is surrounded by phantasmal illusions of toys as a dance number begins. The opposite for melee is at a -2 on all rolls 
3. The user is suddenly given 3 of Santa's elves who have a job for the character 
4. The user may project a cone of  cold as per the spell for 1d3 rounds 
5. The character is visited by a ghost of Christmas who will help the character 
6. 1d10 demonic toys show up to assist the user with a 30% of attacking the user  instead! 
7. The character disappears in a puff of smoke only to reappear at the North Pole ! 
8. A monstrous  riding rain deer shows up with saddle & is able to fly will be available for 1d4 rounds 
9. A minor elemental of Jack Frost shows up & will assist the character. 5 hit dice limit
10. The character is able to whistle up the North Wind which will act as a flying spell 
11. The character may call upon a Yeti for 1d3 rounds 
12. 1d6 plastic soldiers appear & will draft the character! 
13. A White Dragon will appear in a puff of smoke &  a charisma roll must be made to talk it away! 
14. An ice troll is summoned in a puff of smoke & will construct an ice structure for the user 
15. An elfian dentist appears to offer help to an Npc or player 
16. User has 8 tiny rain deer appear with a toy slay. They will grow to full size in 1d6 rounds 
17. The Anti claus appears & drags the character away! 
18. The user is able to produce fire balls as per the spell but the Pc must sing a dance number at the same time
19. Several toy tools appear but are able to be used as the real ones 
20. The user is able to create 12 foot round bubbles which are filled with smoke & will drift towards their target. They act as poison gas see rules for more details 
21. The user is able to create a 20 by 20 smoke screen of smoke while cheesy Christmas tunes play 
22. The user is able to create a dimensional gate as per the spell 
23. The user gains the use of an assistant male or female named Ken or Barbie 
24. 1d6 giant toys appear to help the user. They each have 1d4 hit points 
25. The Winter Wizard appears to grant the user one wish. Must be weather related 
26. The user gains access to the North Pole 
27. The user gains 1d20 of Santa's Elves for 1d6 rounds 
28. The user has a Christmas Fairy appear. They will grant 1d6 presents. DM picks the presents 
29. The characters are teleported to a place that needs Christmas saved 
30. The user becomes Saint Nick for 1 year & a day