1d20 'Random Most Excellent Eighties Finds' Table For The Crimson Dragon Slayer Rpg & Your Old School Campaigns

Because of the very nature of Thule & its environs there are still treasures, relics, and  items of super science that have been changed by the weird radiations & other dimensional powers. These items are considered by many adventurers to be prizes that some search their entire lives for. Some items are pieces of power with their own histories and strange backstories, these items are adventures unto themselves. Adventurers should be wary of these items for some carry the taint of magick & the curse of power about them.



There is a twenty percent chance of these items being cursed or on the list of items of recovery for one of the factions of demon draconian warriors of Thule. Those high end collectors of magic & treasures out in the wastelands of Thule.

1d20 'Random Most Excellent Eighties Finds' Table

1.  The Burning Gauntlet of Metal - this techno magical item is a combination of home computer & armor. It enables its user to access other machines & weird technologies up to three times per day. It also shoots bolts of weird energy for 1d4 points of black energy three times per day to the wail of a banshee like guitar solo. 
2. The Ring of Silva - This ring allows one to pass through walls twice per day except on Tuesdays. 
3. Statue of the Madonna - Saint icon of early Eighties pop star with the words 'you can dance on it' , when activated a dance party will appear around the user three times per day from the early Eighties. Most folks will be stoned or drunk out of their minds. 
4. Handcuffs of Darcy - These fuzzy handcuffs will summon a succubus or incubus demon from Wall Street who will demand a favor of the owner but give incredibly insightful advice on treasures or relics. The demon might if asked nicely fight for or do a favor for the owner once per week. 
5. Ring of the Horror Host - This ring allows one to take on three minor abilities of the undead once per week but the owner must star in a horror style adventure once a month. The owner is unaware that they are famous in an alternative dimension as a minor movie star. 
6.  Soccer Ball of Death - The owner of this ball has a +1 weapon but once a week the ball becomes a flaming sphere of death and a small soccer team of warriors will appear to do battle for the owner. 
7. Hardric The Hanson Hard One  - This is a personal computer A.I. unit that is able to advise, adventure with and act as a familiar for the hero. They are going to be lugging around an Eighties style briefcase through. 
8.  Valley Girl of Doom - This android is from an alternative universe & possibly from Alpha Blue but she's actually a cunning and murderous assassin in the form of a blonde Valley girl. She'll act as a companion bot for the PC but will try to kill anyone who gets between her and her 'man' ( this could be any sex but its always her 'man'). Some units have hidden weapons and cyber systems. 
9. Dildo of Power - This is one of the most dangerous objects of power with the ability to alter reality three times per day. The thing has a most perverse intelligence of demonic perversity. 
10. Mood Ring Of The Seventies - This object of power's decade is long over but it refuses to go quietly into the twilight of the ages. The thing will rant & rage about the Sixties & flower power, protest marches, etc. The mood ring can affect anyone's mood three times per day and cast a charm spell. In addition it also has the ability to cast a mood affecting color spray like illusion that will cause confusion & rolls at a minus three twice per week. 
11. Axe of Vitality - This guitar and amp combo is able to to heal anyone listening to the dark and sardonic music from it. The axe can also be used twice a day to make 1d6 +2 sonic power cord attack. There are 1d4 demonic hell spawn seeking this guitar whose proper name is not known. 
12. The Wit of Sula - This robotic head is/was an advisor to a princess of the Valley eons ago but now is only a head of incredibly dangerous proportions able to cast six spells every three rounds. She is chaotic to the max and will try to possess the body of anyone she comes across for nefarious purposes.   
13. Blur Bucks of Doom - These are cursed Alpha Blue bucks that cause nothing but blue balls in whomever handles them. These blue bucks can also change into any currency when the command words 'Greed is good' is spoken. The bucks will find their way back to the pockets of whomever owns them. They also have a murderous streak to them and once per month someone will try to murder the owner. 
14. +3 Fire Poker of Doom - This extremely well made fire poker is a weapon of demonic doom after being used to kill a major Lovecraftian demon. It has an ego and a murderous streak a mile wide. Once per day it may make the owner immune to flame and fire. Once I said may.
15.  Video Game Gauntlet of Awesomeness - The owner once per day may summon 1d10 space invader creatures to do their bidding. They in turn will have a quest for the owner once per week. They will also bring the owner beer or Eighties Clear Cola on command. The owner can also command electronics once per day as per the spell. 
16. Shoulder Padded Jacket of Cindi - This power jacket can act as incredible armor after the wizardess Cindi enchanted it with powers of black magic and darkness. The jacket regenerates like a biomechanical living thing and provides protection from fire, radiation, horrid magical energies, etc as long as the owner can stand the nerve grating chatter of Cindi's ghost.
17.  Murder Claw of Fredrick - This glove has five enchanted short knives that are able to cut through most mundane materials. The glove also gives its owner the ability to cut demons and creatures of magic but the owner must make a murder once per week to satisfy the glove's blood lust. The owner has a 30% chance of becoming a dream demon per week of using the glove and disappearing into the Dreamlands. There are many other powers in the glove's purview according to legend. 
18. Clive's Cube of  Hellish Weirdness - This multi sided cube is a gate way to a hell realm of incredible horror and depravity. The demons withing will allow nothing to escape and once opened nothing ever escape's the cube's purview. 
19. Bracelets of Power & the Rope of Law - These items are items of law and can only be used by a female agent of law. The Bracelet's of power give a +2 on all Dex rolls and can deflect even magical energy bolts. The Rope of Law is a living embodiment of law allowing its owner to entangle opponents and compel those tied up with it to not be able to lie to the owner. These items are immune to most magics but the owner is not. 
20. Boom Box of Cthulhu - This boom box is actually a magical spell book of incredible proportions. The thing only plays dark Eighties metal and passes from one set of hands to another bringing insanity and horror. Once per week of its own power the boom box can summon forth a dark spawn of Cthulhu or a Lovecraftian demon.  The thing is a cursed item and will sit quietly in the background until it decides to cast a spell or create an inter dimensional portal or some other magical effect from Hell. This is a very dangerous item and PC's should beware its ferocious reputation.